ALMAHERA-AFTER-AUGUST

Assalamualaikum and hi to everyone.

It has been so loooooooooooong since i wrote something here. 

Ya Rabb , my life has been so much busier but not to the extend i didn't get enough sleep or i don't have time to properly sit and eat which equal to : actually i have so many wasted time **for Now -lah . Less busy compared to matriculation obviously .

Look how time does really **flies** and leave myself wondering . 

And 2018 is just in  a couple month.
TIME DOES LEAVE ME BEHIND . 

so back to the title ;

almahera-after-august . 

did i grow wiser?

Not really .

did i found my life interesting?
Yes slightly .

did i see another light of life?
Absolutely ! 

What really happened on August actually ?

hahahahaha , i don't know why i make lame question , but just like another matrics/asasi/stpm graduates , i am proudly say , i make it . 

I make it to university , mak abah , adik really make it .

until now i still can't grasp the idea that i am officially land myself in a university (literally in the middle of the big city ) ///

I am strongly remember that i'am the girl who wear skirts sometimes short  but i go memancing/ baling selipar / main rondas (like baseball) / panjat pokok rambutan / kejar rama-rama with all the boys because girl at my age , mak dorang tak bagi keluar main. ☺☺😌💙 😅😆💨

I didn't realised that girl i just described just grow herself 13 years older .

Leaving memories and scars on legs  .

i am being really emotional , i guess .

well , well we stop there .

reminiscing the past didn't mean that I don't like the way my life now .
I am absolutely treasure it .

University life so far so good . nothing really bad really happened to me unless that one time .

THAT FREAKING ONE TIME - 

WHERE MY LAPTOP CANT CONNECT TO WIFI OR EVEN OPEN MY SETTINGS BECAUSE MY LAPTOP WERE INFECTED BY SHITZ-VIRUS-TRANSMITTED-THROUGH-MY-SISTER-LAPTOP-WHERE-SHE-GOT-THE-VIRUS-FROM-HER-FRIEND-AT-SCHOOL obviously through thumb drive . pastukan haah masatu kena siapkan presentation 👋👋👋👋🙌

Alhamdulillah , my schedule is not as pack as matriculation , and almost everyday my class start late . hehhehehehhehehehhehehhehee (( i like this the most))

But everyday is a new day for life lessons , adventures and knowledge .

i learn to go to Istana Budaya by myself for a mini theater .
And i discover that Balai Seni Negara is just something else .( visit the same place for 3 times ) (cute place for dating) (agaaghahaha Astaghfirullah) (free admission kot)
And monorail was absolutely not as fun as i thought it was at 2 P.M

you all hoping i told you about my course ke?

okay my course is something different,

i didn't pursue for medications or pharmacy or engineering or whatever the popular course out there .

I took Audiology . yes audio . but nope i'm not training myself to be a deejay .

it still science but it is under allied science.
which mean  i still under the faculty of health science.

yes it have something to do with health .
i am particularly learning about ears.

what to know / what to diagnose / hearing loss and balance / how it effect life/ and so on boleh google sendirikan, data takkan guna buat twitter dgn instagram je? ahhahahah

im on my weeks 5 already ,
so that is me after August .

i learn to participate in life too .
i am basically just throw myself to any activity here ,
volunteering and so on .
And now , i Do really see .
University life is  something different but not really different ,

ok quick confession:

I FIND IT IS HARD NOT TO CALL YOUR PROFESSOR AS CIKGU ,
CALL THEM PROF OR DOCTOR OKAY ,
before asking them any question , i just basically tell my brain to planning and send the right senses to my oral-motor so that i dont go tersasul call them cikgu . ( you see Physiology )  

that is all .

till the very next post .
Assalamualaikum  . 

AND THIS POST GILA BOSAN . ENTAH APA APA ENTAH .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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nenek

Assalamualaikum beautiful people .
u sure eh dont have anything better to do than reading my blog heh. 🙄🙄
but i was thankful and grateful if you read my posts because you can learn my secret and all for free HAHAHHAHAHA (your gain kan)

ok ok this post are supposedly only for my nenek that i get to see from the moment i opened my eyes exactly like 19 years ago . Grateful for everything . Alhamdulillah Ya Allah .

my house and nenek were not far from each other like 700 m away . so technically my kampong is only 700 m away . the pros is no jam no jam no jam no jam and i can practically see nenek everyday yayyyyyyy .
in fact , when i were younger , i do "balik kampong" hari hari especially on weekdays ( that time Johor still cuti sabtu ahad) . i practically live with my nenek from 8 am to 5 pm everydayyy ( when i was  a kid)

but my nenek is a different kind of story .
she is tougher that anyone i met . i do resemble her a lot . i am practically growing just like her .  growing up, nenek had a hard life because that time still perang jepun . (( probably , i still heard the makan ubi rebus only story))  . she married young and have child young and she was divorced after 2 kids ( i believe this is for the best)( btw dont you think my atok is a prick eh , he still my atok but my atok kahwin 4 ) (imagine the raya 😀🤙😏) (she love her stepchildren nevertheless okayyyy) (no gaduh gaduh or dendam)


ok back to nenek .
she raised her child by working on her kebun getah . she is strong enough as she raised her parents too (the only daughter out of 3 siblings) . BUT SHE GOT THE BEST OF HER LIFE . OKAY I DONT WANT TO CERITA YOU ALL HER BACKGROUND ANYMORE . I WANT TO TELL YOU HER STORY AND I . THE STORY I WANT TO REMEMBER UNTIL I GET OLD .HEHEHEH

When i were a kid , i remember her going back from the kebun and i tell you the way she cycle is pelik hahahha .( pelik for me only)  . she would call my name and i would run to her .IF YOU ALL BANDAR i tell you bau ojol is tak sedap and busuk but damn thats money hahahhahahaha ( i love ojol and getah) . then we will mandi together . she will scrub my back  and then we had lunch . ( old people lunch // really not nutritious) hahahha

nenek ajar aku makan mandai ( sumpaah sedaaap) . and all the zaman jepun food hahahahha but i love it . no worry nenek .
my favourite would be her ikan kering nasi panas and mandai . sedap oi sumpah . pastu dia punya pisang goreng pon ada kick lain macam . paling penting cengkodok pisang takde orang boleh lawan . sangat seedaaap .

believe me or not , i used to go to kebun with her alsooo hehehhehe (( tough jugak eh)) but im not menoreh lah eh .  I FREAKING SLEEP WHILE SHE MENOREH SENDIRI . ( dont blame me ah , i still kecil and innocent hehherh)

you know ah i sleep on the tanah alone ( can sleep anywhere 😏😏 ) then i woke , i ate my nasi panas and ikan kering then i go look for my nenek across the hutan . sumpah dulu tak fikirlah ular ke babi ke . i okay je yang penting tidur hehehheheh . 🙄🤙

forgot to tell you she made the dopest kuih kemboja and kuih goyanggg evaah . i used to do the goyang with her and get paid ( RM 5 ) . syukur still . 😏😏😏

story cut short , she raised me not to be manja . raise me to panjat pokok . raise me to keep on sabar even someone is getting on my nerves( cause her life challenge is tough than i can imagine) . raise me well to a point i dont want to lose her .

she had stop menoreh . because her old age . but i swear no other nenek as kuat as her i mean at her age . she got sakit tua macam pitam (low blood pressure) and all but i tell you she had ZERO CHRONIC DISEASE .sihat kaaan . and she can walk just fine 👏😢👌

and out of all this she called me "BUNTUNG" which technically means beruntung . yes i indeed growing up beruntung ada nenek macam nenek . 😙

so last night , she slept at my house and i am practically tanya nenek .nenek nak urut tak? .Obviously she said yes . hehehhehe .😁😁😁😁

while urut , something tug my heart . her skin are by far not like before . the wrinkle become more obvious . the ache and the pain become a lot more . the skin getting thinner. she getting thinner . i am growing taller than her . the hair become grey and not to mention the hair loss . my heart tug at this . 😢

she was supposed to be healthy and stop aging . i get selfish . i mean she must live to see i am up on the stage receiving my degree . she must live long enough to see my own house , my own family , my own life . i am by far not ready to leave her or even lose her . if love is hard , she will be my hardest love of all because she reminds me of myself .


Ya Allah , prolong my nenek life and please let her live in healthy condition and filled with love from people around her. AminYaRabbalAlAmin.



Love your nenek/atok peeps. Dont only regret when you lose them someday . i have seen the way my parents love their cucu ( divine love) . so you know grandparents love is the love that keep you going in life and not a thing in this world can replaced it .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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struggle is surreal

i get insecure yes i do .
i do realise life is not all about how you appear to other but a better appearance means a better treatment really . i dont think anyone can argue about this . but if you still want to argue let me tell you this ;

"if u really dont care you should throw all your cleanser that costs you and all the products you used to make yourself somehow better in appearance "

k sambung
struggling with acne , while growing up was not okay . i admit , that i did excuse myself during high school year from joining any co-curricular activity because i think i was not good enough by the way i look . i look terrible , really with all the big bad acne all over my face .

entering matriculation i look the terrible-est . the worse ever . I came to a moment that i hate mirror . i hate it so much i avoid it . i literally just take a peek and go because i dont want to go detail about it . it just become worse when i go to salloon and everybody worrying about my face and how bad it is . my heart crush . yeah it broke into pieces really . broken pieces . on the day you want to appear confidence then someone said what happen to your face?? it can make your mad sometimes but i get used to it because i have been ask the same questions growing up .

AND IT LITERALLY ANNOYED ME WHEN SOMEBODY GRUMBLING OVER A TINY PIMPLE when she/he do realised you do look better than other.  But me being annoyed is not okay too  maybe im being just too judgemental sometimes too .

but somehow , my face do get better through out my matriculation phase . i may not look so fab-u-can-cry but i think me at now phase its okay , it is good enough for me . i love the way it is now .

but then im handling a little heartbreak .
as on my previous post i said that i confess to somebody . and from that day i swore i want to move on because he just too good and perfect but until this day i just cant seem to move on . i like him like truly truly like him . he just got that something but almahera kau kena pijak dibumi yang nyata . im trying to move forward but it will take a long long long time . this one im sure . ((but im still hoping hahhaahha))

AND from here the insecurities begin , i start telling myself if i do look like her , maybe ill stand a chance . if i were pretty it will get better . thats that how i start think how ungrateful am i to the World , to Allah .

i keep focussing on being pretty and beautiful but i totally forgetting of the real purpose i was born here . i forgot how lucky i am to have food on my plate . i forgot how lucky i am to get eyes that can see clearly without spectacles . i forgot how lucky i am to be able to breath deeply the clean air . i forgot how lucky i am able to climb the stairs and run and walk and all . i forgot how lucky i am to be able to differentiate the colours and taste . i forgot of how lucky i am to have all the things i got .

is it true sometimes you need to had a little heartbreak to see what you really missed in life?

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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the Wilderness of 10th June

wild adventure it is truly .

first of all , i want to smack myself because of my stupidity .

dear Readers , pretty pretty please janganlah procrastinate lagi because i have feel the outcomes . sesungguhnya , Demi Masa Manusia memang dalam kerugian .
NO TIMES IN YOUR LIFE ARE REPEATABLE OR REPLACEABLE GOOD OR BAD .
i learnt my lesson , betul betul belajar do not ever tangguh kerja .

here my adventure goes :
on 25th May 2017 , i managed to place myself for  a university interview . i was freaking estatic and beyond the moon because i freaking place myself in course that pop my curiousity . eventhough it is just a mere interview but hey at least I can experience the nervousness , the joy and the pride of being interview of by people that have the same vision in your life . so since that date I SHOULD PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE INTERVIEW BUT HELL NO . I WAS CONVINCING MYSELF THAT I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TILL THE DUE OF INTERVIEW . LOTS LOTS LOTS OF TIME .
*jom baring balik * 
then day by day passed .
suddenly it is already 8 JUNE and i dont prepared anything for the interview .
not a habuk of thing . believe me
Jadi pagi 9hb tu i was rushing things to cop sijil photostat sijil and all .
AND I KEEP ONE THING IN MY MIND


"I DONT HAVE TO PRINT MY CURRICULUM VITAE NOW , I DONT EVEN HAVE TO DO THE CV NOW . I CAN DO THE CV RIGHT AFTER I LAID MYSELF IN KAKAK'S HOUSE AND I CAN PRINT ALL THE THING I NEEDED THERE . EVERYTHING IS WELL PLANNED AND PERFECT . CERTAINLY SURE . "

But then , the night of 9th June i still not land myself at my kakak's house . because mak dan akak too busy shopping and it is okay because aku boleh jumpa abang lagi . no big deal . confirm cv tu akan siap gak . but time sure passed and flies . Arrived at Senawang exactly 12.30 am in the morning of 10th June , yang bermakna i am less than 8 hours from my interview and i havent start my CV yet .
I start my CV after i have freshened myself up a bit . after a bit alterations and friendly argument and HELLA BIG of help from akak , i finished my CV by 3.30 something  .Ya Allah , sumpah time ni memang rasa menyesal sangat . AND GUESS WHAT IT JUST DOESNT END THERE .

the moment i want to print . the worst thing could ever happened is
THE PRINTER WAS OUT OF INK AND IT IS 3.30 AM AND I NEED TO HAVE THE DOCUMENT READY BY 8 SO I CAN REGISTER MYSELF AS SOON AS POSSIBLE .
so I tried to call few 24hr Cyber Cafe  around Senawang but no . luck were not on my side .
sumpah panic nak mati nak nangis nak guling2 .

AND YES , aku call abang aku dekat kl mintak tolong dia printkan dokumen aku and passed it to me at HKL around 8 am next morning . ALHAMDULILLAH , he said okaaaay, tunggu jeee nanti abang hantar.
dan all the document were sent via email . via email . i Thank the technology invented . AND ALL THE INTERNET . AND ALLAH .

so basically the at 8 am of 10th june , my brother was bit off from our exact schedule . HE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE BY 7.30 BUT WHERE IS HE????? ALLAHUUUU . BY 7.55 AM he come around rempit and fully on with his Police uniform . so mak cam okay kau dah lambat , pakai kerete takkan sempat sampai by  8 . MAKA naiklah motor dgn abang .

you guys there is no EXTRA HELMET . NO EXTRA HELMET . I REPEAT NO EXTRA HELMET . sebab gua memang dah rasa berdosa gila dengan mak sebab buat dia risau gilaaa gilaaaaaaa . and abang also rasa berdosa sebab mungkir janji . dia kata okay dik cepat naik. and he assure me " Jangan risau sempat"

Being the kampongiest girl ever born,
i hopped on the motorcycle gaiz .
with no helmet on
for 4 minute ride .
I WAS ON BIKE WITH MY BROTHER BY WEARING BAJU KURUNG AND MY TUDUNG AND ALL WITH NO HELMET ON THE ROAD TO ARRIVED AT THE INTERVIEW PLACE WHICH IS LITERALLY AT CENTRE OF KL . KIND OF . BUT IM PRETTY SURE IT IS THE CENTRE .
haah betullah melayunya aku naik moto dgn abang aku tanpa helmet pastu pakai baju kurung pastu dengan abang fully beruniform. it is a chaos . A police with a road offender .

yes . sampai .
TANPA . KECEDERAAN .ATAU .SAMAN . Kihkihjihkih .

NOT TO FREAKING MENTION THE LINE WERE THREE STOREY LONG .

yes panjang camtu .  dan disebabkan keterlewatan dan disebabkan ketangguhan sikap aku yang sangat mengecewakan para pengunjung *eh tetibe *
di waktu orang beratur aku sibuk isikan lampiran B for the interview . yes still busy filing up the form while the others looking as ready as ever .

after all the wilderness
Alhamdulillah , finally finished my interview with glimpse of hope.
i dont want to reveal what my answer is tapi IM SURE IM BEING AS HONEST AS EVER AND IM SURE FUNNY . HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
 *smack myself again while crying*
*i freaking include ANIME As my answer*

okay guys . LESSON LEARNT .
NOTHING GOOD COME OUT OF PROCRASTINATION .

if you been reading this .
Doakan Almahera Binti Abidin passed the interview and were accepted as Students . Amin .


i ve been writing this while NGANTUK . because i havent sleep since 9th June.
so that is bad..
pray for Almahera acceptance ok .
May Almahera land herself as the student of the University . Amin Amin amin

bye  . jangan buat benda bodoh macam Almahera buat eh. bai

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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Hornbills and Cage

have you ever wonder
how the animals at zoo
are actually sad
cause they were all caged?

but in this case
i wont blame the zookeeper.

i feel sorry for the hornbills
for not being able to spread his wings
and that sad looking eyes that never blink on the blue sky
that eyes that never stop hoping that one fine day he can fly free again
but i wont blame the zookeeper

i feel sorry for the hippo
i feel sorry for the tiger
i feel sorry for the beaver
but i wont blame the zookeeper

because if they were not caged
even the scariest creature get hunt by man
even the birds that can soar up in the sky get shot in the wings .

and same goes to this feeling
i rather have it well kept inside a cage
than having it torn by a man to the flesh .

but then again .
if i were a hornbills
i would rather spread my wings and
fly in the wind even if it mean
i can get shot anytime in the wings.
i dont care 
because for a moment,
for a moment i get to feel how it is like to be a bird and fly
and what is like to be alive .
even for a moment .

i'd risk it all .
to fly
i'd risk it all for this feeling to feel .


but i wont blame the zookeeper
or the one that keep my heart .
if one day i get shot
in the heart .




hey yoooo if you are reading this i would like to acknowledged you i wrote this at 2 am in the morning yesterday when im barely awake . ive been listening to ed sheeran over and over and i reminisce about my time spent at zoo with the cutest roommates alive. then i remember the hornbills the most with that sleek black feathers then i relate the hornbills with me. idk why im being so emotional and all but i am really glad my blog was here for me to venting it all out .
if you look at my old post and some un-artsy poem please dont laugh at it .
i dont even know apa yang rasuk sampai berani mempersembah puisi yang tak seberapa hahhahahahhahaha

 **confident is the keys gaizz**

but right now i hate Ed Sheeran the most because he make me feels i were dumped by a person which in fact i dont have my own person . hahahhaha i hate you Ed but i love you too . it is complicated yaaaaah.
((i get this phrase on twitter , whoever wrote this i want to thank you ))

okay idk how this post get so long.
but maybe if i have time ((which certainly i have))
ill get my love updated frequently or maybe every 2 hours hahahahhahahs .
umm my love would be refer to this blog .
okay dah habis .
bye

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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i dont want to ....

i heard something today .
something that pull me back to reality .
it is ugly but im glad someone told me the truth . and thank you ah girl for being there when someone spill the news .

 Ya Rabbi sumpah wei lega sangat hati ni bila i can told her nothing but the truth that goes in my mind .. she is one of my blessing . if you read this i want to thank you earnestly and thank you for letting me spill my mind and free my mind out of this mess .

i may not said this out loud
but im a mess .
a literal mess .
but dont you worry im a mess you can wipe it clean . lol ((iklan sabun basuh pinggan))

cemana ek nak cakap .
tapi aku terlalu biasa dapat agak or sense something was not right . dan selalunya tekaan aku tu betul gila babeng .
aku suka teka teki .
malah apa aku tulis ni penuh dengan teka teki yang aku tak mahu sesiapa tahu .
i might left some clues here and there but you will never know if this is for you or for someone else  .
hanya aku tahu .
senang cerita aku tukang cerita yang kedekut .
aku peluah yang takut .

idk even know if the news i heard today was nothing but true .
but deep inside i know it might be true to some extend .
it were sad really . Truly sad and i dont find wonder in guessing on this riddle correctly .

i dont wish to finish this post .
i dont want to even think about today or about you .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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Bi--- rasa

today i see another pink skies
its been already two days
the sky looks the same
i wonder do you just amaze as i am

berpadu tapak aku
berjalan mencari fikiran
Ah, bukan untuk aku
buat apa lagi mencari2
memaksa takdir .

oh dear how i like that blue thing pop out my message
i feel like you really care
at least once .
i like you i like you i like you
then I realised

apa bukan untuk aku bukan untukku
apa baik buat mu baik buat mu



Bi-rasa adalah sesuatu yang aku tulis untuk menunjukkan kadang2 kita terkeliru dengan bahasa sendiri dan perasaan sendiri . maka terjadilh Bi- rasa ((pronunciation bai-ra-sa))

i think all of this ada double meaning lah??? hahahhahaha okbai

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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wish

its raining and im on my bed , curling and wondering .
if i act fine will it be fine?
if i act tough , can i get tougher?

im not either stay or leave
im not either watch and leave
im not either happy or sad .
im in between where the sun not really shines and the moon not really lit .

the ticklish sound of the rain
sound the best.
the sound brings back memories .
the good the bad and regret.

then i realised something.
im not really me .
im a part of everybody that came and leave a piece of them in me .
but i do hope you stop leaving your piece in me but i also do not want you stop .
indecisive and greedy i guess .

if i had 3 wishes to make.
you will be the last wish i wish .
because the last wish is the most important wish .
i wish , you wish for me .
that for sure ,
 a greedy wish .

something inside me saying
if your loved ones are happy .
what more should you wish?
then i decide ,
ill keep my last wish till one day you not feeling happy and full .
until that day , until that day .
until that day keep being happy with your choice because i thought maybe
maybe the last wish i should use for myself instead  .
but you know , i wont .

the last wish is for you .
and always yours .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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march and me

assalamualaikum dear all . (eceh)

Alhamdulillah . Allah bless me for another year of living and breathing and chance for me repenting . ok lah kan macam acah lah pulak kan nak blog in all english . tapi mengertilah saya nak MUET ni besok . kene asah bakat sikit walau grammar berterabur ke masuk longkang ke k k k kkk.

Ya Allah . what You claimed were all true . if you give one thing for other you will get rewarded for ten times for things you shared . Today Allah reward me with so much of blessing . Every steps i took indeed a blessing . 
Bangun pagi nak get ready pergi class .. shower favourite kosong .
Turun tangga nampak kucing main atas bumbung and i call them like a total mak kucing  .. macam meh sini sayang meh sini . and guess what they all come to me and jilat2 my fingers and cakar2 my bag .(( this one is true )) ((im not exagerrating at all)) .

there is so much blessing today that i run out of finger to count .
dan SubhanaAllah perancangan Allah memang yang terbaik . Memang kengkonon dalam wishlist nak outing sengsorang tapi roommates insists nak ikut and yes indeed they were a true blessing . tak taulah apa aku buat kalau takde dorang tadi . sorang jaga purse sorang bawakkan makanan sorang rajin melayan . MY ROOMMATES WERE ALL SWEET . oh that i forget to tell you that all my classmates are so cool too they were literally sing a birthday song for me. i love them . saya dapat hug dari cikgu ((lagi sikit nak nangis)) .
pastu Allah bagi rezeki lagi dapat beli Buah Naga dengan Mangga dengan dapat minum slurpee .  I TOTALLY LOVE THIS .hahhahahaha
pastu beli KFC  dapat free fries 😂😂😂😂😢 .
this was my birthday experience dekat tangkak ni . and my friend gave me Pizza to ganti my request for rm1 tempura . so nice ah my friend .
and i feel grateful to all my friends for the sweet wishes . you guys are sweet and cute and and and all the goodness come in a pack .

pastukan tadikan akak aku datang melawat and i swear i cry my heart out . ok aku ni memang pakar nangis bab family ni . pastu lagi  video call pulak dengan mak abah . haa time tu memang air terjun yang mengalir . 😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😢😢😢😢 . and you know how simplest word from your father breaks your heart ((in a good way)) he said to me " semoga sentiasa hormat orang tua, semoga rajin solat and and and much much later after the crying scene he said abah doakan alma kat sana baik baik belaka ." 


it is true . the greatest gift is a blessing from your parents . parents are the greatest gift of all . being away from them is suck but somehow it teach me to appreciate them better in life . Ya Allah , im a sinner but yet you give me everything i need in life . Alhamdulillah

Almahera . Happy birthday . 😋

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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I lived (part 2)

okay okay okay
i have a free time now as home now for Chinese New Year . yay

as promised , i will tell you how i view one republic - i lived  as for now , at least .

okay okay .
the particular wordings that got me having a different view on this song is

// Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad
The only way you can know is give it all you have
And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain//

yah . this . ALL THESE GOT ME HAVE DIFFERENT VIEW ON THIS SONG . AND IT KIND OF GET TO ME DEEPLY .

by being a normal person , i think having a crush on this age is okay and normal . ((even im ugly for you )) ((everyone can have a crush)) ((but you should focussing on studies)) ((whatever, you only live in teenage years once)) .

gosh too much monologue . 😂😂😅
okay back to the story .

i kind of have a big crush on this boy,
a big kind of crush
a crush that literally crushed me which i expected it will be . ((not his fault btw))
not a suprised as im aware of myself of how incompetence i am to him .
((me so not lawa))((not even cute))((have jerawat and scars pulak tu))((short))((gigi tak rata))((jari gemuk))
compared to him
whose, have everything in him that makes me fall too deep into the pit .

okay back to story (again) and how that song get to me (in conversation)

" Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad"

my reply : yes . i fell once at the length of his fingers and how his shoulder drop and how he enjoy and live his moment and it kind of hurt but  i still breathing and eating fine and have decent sleep and and and all the blessing from Allah . Alhamdulillah .


"The only way you can know is give it all you have"

my reply : yes i literally gave it all .  I mean i did the most embarassing thing and yet a desperate act . I confessed to him (my very first time) and this is no joke . I dm'ed him on twitter on one fine day . and maybe after a while he replied it and and by that moment i am screwed . Dont get me wrong , but he is so kind (im not telling you this because he is my crush, but he just really is)
i mean getting a reply from your crush is kind of big deal for me . after he replied , i sent him another dm and he kindly replied me with empathy ((im pathetic)) . He reject me in the most nicest way , i think . But im so glad by confessing to him at least i know for once in my life , i am living instead of existing. ((wow)) 😂😂😂🐹


"And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain"

my reply : ya i dont suffer that much 😲😢 and i take the pain just as you suggested .





yah dear this is my second view on this song .
i think after heard it for 678 times (this one tipu) ,, i think this is my themed song in life .
some words in this song got me inspired on life . i know i can love another song but this one has special place in my heart . special congratulation and a big clap from me to the all individuals involved in making of I Lived by One Republic. 



im sorry to disappoint you but after i wrote the last paragraph on top , i realise the best words in life would be the words of Allah .
so this song will fall to last place if it was compared to Kalamullah. 

yet still
I Lived - One Republic
is my Song for Lyfe .

thank you and goodmornight .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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I lived (part 1)

its been 2nd semester at KMJ . im kind of living the total student life here , but i do cheat sometimes heh (you know baring there baring sini ) (skip the tutor) (enjoying my weekend) .
Yes thats kind of things is consider as cheating for me while im here . ((im so weird))

While doing my tutor just now at 1 am on lovely sunday night ((22/1/2017)) . I heard the song that change my heart about matriculation and i kind of consider it as Allah "petunjuk" for me as ive been doing my istikharah for my after spm studies .

The song i consider as the ultimate petunjuk is
One Republic - I lived

i dont know why but the song just speak to me . if anyone of the spm leavers thought it is easy to choose after-spm study is easy then rethinking about it . To my adik adik please use  your after spm time to reconsider and rethinking of your choice ,besides doing something useful . Dont take it lightly .

**ok back to my story

I have my doubt about matriculation.
I was poisoned about how hard it is to live a life as matriculation student .
Alhamdullilah , while im strolling the Youtube Recommendation ..  That one-life-saving song pop at my feed. Give it a shot and i stuck for lyfe (hipster spelling) (try hard to making jokes) (still think im funny)

" i did it all" yes that particular word got me thinking . i was this closed ( emoji tangan tunjuk ok) to enroll in form 6 and change my stream . But after a few times of listening this song , i changed my mind . I CHANGE MY MIND A WEEK BEFORE MATRICULATION REGISTRATION . it is sumpah hectic and busy as i have to make online payment for fees and all .. buy this and that . Find this and that . and making sure that i got all that i need for school .. AND I STARTING TO PREPARE MYSELF to part myself (physically) from my family . im kind of manja ...yaa lorr mana pernah jauh dengan family . sobs sobs 😭😢😢😢😭😢 . ( btw still nangis till this day) .
and i successfully enroll to KOLEJ MATRIKULASI JOHOR a week later . herherherherher ( while crying)

ok that is my short story . about How A song can literally changed my mind . and help me decide the big decision of mylife .
But tonight when i heard that song again , it give me another view of life . I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I FREE BUT NOT NOW CAUSE I HAD TO SAMBUNG MY TUTORIAL. OKBYE 🌹😉😋

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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