I lived (part 2)

okay okay okay
i have a free time now as home now for Chinese New Year . yay

as promised , i will tell you how i view one republic - i lived  as for now , at least .

okay okay .
the particular wordings that got me having a different view on this song is

// Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad
The only way you can know is give it all you have
And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain//

yah . this . ALL THESE GOT ME HAVE DIFFERENT VIEW ON THIS SONG . AND IT KIND OF GET TO ME DEEPLY .

by being a normal person , i think having a crush on this age is okay and normal . ((even im ugly for you )) ((everyone can have a crush)) ((but you should focussing on studies)) ((whatever, you only live in teenage years once)) .

gosh too much monologue . 😂😂😅
okay back to the story .

i kind of have a big crush on this boy,
a big kind of crush
a crush that literally crushed me which i expected it will be . ((not his fault btw))
not a suprised as im aware of myself of how incompetence i am to him .
((me so not lawa))((not even cute))((have jerawat and scars pulak tu))((short))((gigi tak rata))((jari gemuk))
compared to him
whose, have everything in him that makes me fall too deep into the pit .

okay back to story (again) and how that song get to me (in conversation)

" Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad"

my reply : yes . i fell once at the length of his fingers and how his shoulder drop and how he enjoy and live his moment and it kind of hurt but  i still breathing and eating fine and have decent sleep and and and all the blessing from Allah . Alhamdulillah .


"The only way you can know is give it all you have"

my reply : yes i literally gave it all .  I mean i did the most embarassing thing and yet a desperate act . I confessed to him (my very first time) and this is no joke . I dm'ed him on twitter on one fine day . and maybe after a while he replied it and and by that moment i am screwed . Dont get me wrong , but he is so kind (im not telling you this because he is my crush, but he just really is)
i mean getting a reply from your crush is kind of big deal for me . after he replied , i sent him another dm and he kindly replied me with empathy ((im pathetic)) . He reject me in the most nicest way , i think . But im so glad by confessing to him at least i know for once in my life , i am living instead of existing. ((wow)) 😂😂😂🐹


"And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain"

my reply : ya i dont suffer that much 😲😢 and i take the pain just as you suggested .





yah dear this is my second view on this song .
i think after heard it for 678 times (this one tipu) ,, i think this is my themed song in life .
some words in this song got me inspired on life . i know i can love another song but this one has special place in my heart . special congratulation and a big clap from me to the all individuals involved in making of I Lived by One Republic. 



im sorry to disappoint you but after i wrote the last paragraph on top , i realise the best words in life would be the words of Allah .
so this song will fall to last place if it was compared to Kalamullah. 

yet still
I Lived - One Republic
is my Song for Lyfe .

thank you and goodmornight .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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I lived (part 1)

its been 2nd semester at KMJ . im kind of living the total student life here , but i do cheat sometimes heh (you know baring there baring sini ) (skip the tutor) (enjoying my weekend) .
Yes thats kind of things is consider as cheating for me while im here . ((im so weird))

While doing my tutor just now at 1 am on lovely sunday night ((22/1/2017)) . I heard the song that change my heart about matriculation and i kind of consider it as Allah "petunjuk" for me as ive been doing my istikharah for my after spm studies .

The song i consider as the ultimate petunjuk is
One Republic - I lived

i dont know why but the song just speak to me . if anyone of the spm leavers thought it is easy to choose after-spm study is easy then rethinking about it . To my adik adik please use  your after spm time to reconsider and rethinking of your choice ,besides doing something useful . Dont take it lightly .

**ok back to my story

I have my doubt about matriculation.
I was poisoned about how hard it is to live a life as matriculation student .
Alhamdullilah , while im strolling the Youtube Recommendation ..  That one-life-saving song pop at my feed. Give it a shot and i stuck for lyfe (hipster spelling) (try hard to making jokes) (still think im funny)

" i did it all" yes that particular word got me thinking . i was this closed ( emoji tangan tunjuk ok) to enroll in form 6 and change my stream . But after a few times of listening this song , i changed my mind . I CHANGE MY MIND A WEEK BEFORE MATRICULATION REGISTRATION . it is sumpah hectic and busy as i have to make online payment for fees and all .. buy this and that . Find this and that . and making sure that i got all that i need for school .. AND I STARTING TO PREPARE MYSELF to part myself (physically) from my family . im kind of manja ...yaa lorr mana pernah jauh dengan family . sobs sobs 😭😢😢😢😭😢 . ( btw still nangis till this day) .
and i successfully enroll to KOLEJ MATRIKULASI JOHOR a week later . herherherherher ( while crying)

ok that is my short story . about How A song can literally changed my mind . and help me decide the big decision of mylife .
But tonight when i heard that song again , it give me another view of life . I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I FREE BUT NOT NOW CAUSE I HAD TO SAMBUNG MY TUTORIAL. OKBYE 🌹😉😋

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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2016 .. i mean quarter through 2016

basically this is not my first post on my blog because i have revert all my posts back to draft because i find it so immature ((its not like im that mature ,blegh)) and it just will bring more harm than good ,

two thousands sixteen 
so far have been such a blessing and year of thinking for me,
every year was actually a blessing
( my sister got married / my spm result / my family health / my sisters moving to new house/ my brother on his job / my adik can read / etc )

but lets cut to the chase ,
TONIGHT IM THINKING OF THE WORD ''sentap''

as is said i ve been using my mind to think about reckless things,

as a mere living things
tipulah kalau aku tak pernah guna perkataan sentap ,
dan tipulah kalau aku tak penah sentap (( selalu uolls))

dan bagi aku , sentap ini boleh didefinisikan kepada:
1) MARAH
2) TERASA (( touchy feeling / butthurt ))

dan sambil berfikir tadi , aku rasa yang aku tak nak lagi guna perkataan sentap lagi untuk menanyakan perasaan seseorang because i think if someone asks me '' sentap ke ?'' and obviously im being sentap.com ... I LL GET MAD AND MY BLOOD PRESSURE WOULD SKY ROCKET AND MY FOREHEAD WOULD BE BERKERUT KERUT ,
all this because, i just instill in my head that asking someone sentap ke ?   is quite rude ,
it is just a foolish opinion , but i will try my very best not to use sentap ke .

i think it would be better if im asking someone feeling in oldschool way macam

1) '' kau marah aku ke? sorry ''
2) '' kau terasa ke ? ok sorry ''
3) '' ok sorry'' <---  ( ni kalau aku rasa bersalah pada kau tp pada masa yang sama aku tak tau kenapa kau nak emosional sangat padahal aku berlawak sambil bertanya soalan tapi serious aku rasa bersalah)


dan sudah pastinya aku memikirkan perkara ni apabila aku rasa bersalah apabila aku interprete someone's word yg mungkin , mungkin sangat tak suka pada aku dan sepertinya marah kepadaku kerana soalan yang tak patut ditujukan oleh aku kepada seseorang,
AND I ALMOST ALMOST REPLIED BACK WITH SENTAP KE? 
tapi mujur aku tak lakukannya sebab aku rasa itu biadap .


after all , asking for apology is better .
and im sorry for everything i said and did .
im learning for better me , better almahera .

MAAF untuk segalanya kalau kau tak selesa dengan aku
sebab aku pon tak selesa dengan aku but ill improve that .

ok bye .

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TERIME KASIH,MEMBACA KISAH SUKESUKISEDIHSADISCACIMAKI SAYE

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