i get insecure yes i do .
i do realise life is not all about how you appear to other but a better appearance means a better treatment really . i dont think anyone can argue about this . but if you still want to argue let me tell you this ;
"if u really dont care you should throw all your cleanser that costs you and all the products you used to make yourself somehow better in appearance "
k sambung
struggling with acne , while growing up was not okay . i admit , that i did excuse myself during high school year from joining any co-curricular activity because i think i was not good enough by the way i look . i look terrible , really with all the big bad acne all over my face .
entering matriculation i look the terrible-est . the worse ever . I came to a moment that i hate mirror . i hate it so much i avoid it . i literally just take a peek and go because i dont want to go detail about it . it just become worse when i go to salloon and everybody worrying about my face and how bad it is . my heart crush . yeah it broke into pieces really . broken pieces . on the day you want to appear confidence then someone said what happen to your face?? it can make your mad sometimes but i get used to it because i have been ask the same questions growing up .
AND IT LITERALLY ANNOYED ME WHEN SOMEBODY GRUMBLING OVER A TINY PIMPLE when she/he do realised you do look better than other. But me being annoyed is not okay too maybe im being just too judgemental sometimes too .
but somehow , my face do get better through out my matriculation phase . i may not look so fab-u-can-cry but i think me at now phase its okay , it is good enough for me . i love the way it is now .
but then im handling a little heartbreak .
as on my previous post i said that i confess to somebody . and from that day i swore i want to move on because he just too good and perfect but until this day i just cant seem to move on . i like him like truly truly like him . he just got that something but almahera kau kena pijak dibumi yang nyata . im trying to move forward but it will take a long long long time . this one im sure . ((but im still hoping hahhaahha))
AND from here the insecurities begin , i start telling myself if i do look like her , maybe ill stand a chance . if i were pretty it will get better . thats that how i start think how ungrateful am i to the World , to Allah .
i keep focussing on being pretty and beautiful but i totally forgetting of the real purpose i was born here . i forgot how lucky i am to have food on my plate . i forgot how lucky i am to get eyes that can see clearly without spectacles . i forgot how lucky i am to be able to breath deeply the clean air . i forgot how lucky i am able to climb the stairs and run and walk and all . i forgot how lucky i am to be able to differentiate the colours and taste . i forgot of how lucky i am to have all the things i got .
is it true sometimes you need to had a little heartbreak to see what you really missed in life?
